i did a satire

MUGABE 'TO GET CLIFFORD'

Public relations guru Max Clifford has a new client - in the form of Zimbabwe's president Robert Mugabe.

Mr. Clifford, previously known for his work with such cultural luminaries as Jade Goody, O.J. Simpson, celebrity pig onanizer Rebecca Loos and some non-entity that falsely accused Neil & Christine Hamilton of sexually assaulting her, is set to jet out to Harare next week to sprinkle his personalised brand of PR magic on the beleaguered Zimbabwean president.

OK! magazine are believed to be preparing a special "At Home with the Mugabes" pull-out, with appearances on Loose Women, Paul O'Grady and Come Dine With Me to follow.

Some critics have expressed surprise about the link-up in the light of Mr Mugabe's track record of running his country's economy into the ground, slashing the life expectancy age to among the world's lowest and having his political opponents beaten for sport.

But in a statement yesterday Mr. Clifford said: "The treatment Mr. Mugabe has received in some quarters of the media has been very unfair. He's been greatly misunderstood. Basically he just wants the chance to show the world the 'real him'."

Mr Clifford is said to be sidestepping Zimbabwe's current economic crisis, which has seen inflation reach 60 sextillion percent and citizens having to use $100 trillion banknotes to buy everyday goods, by receiving his payment in human souls.

— Originally writ for Manchester's satirical student monthly The Sanctuary.