Life Just Bounces don't you get worried at all. (A weblog of music and otrogenerica)

Monday, 20 July 2009

Swine flu stock tips

buy Tamiflu
buy Relenza
buy shares in Big Pharma
buy waste bins (for catching & killing)
buy dust masks and party hats.

sell everyone on fear.
sell farms, sell sensationalism, sell newspapers by the truckload.
sell off natural immunity.
sell insecurity. sell NWO conspiracy horseshit to irresponsible posers.
sell common sense down the river.

if this keeps up
they'll have to call it bull flu

Here's four pieces of pig-related goodness and one piece of simple common sense.

"Year of the Swine" (YSI) is by New Englandite metal/hardcore heads Converge. I wish i had the mighty voice of their singer, Jake Bannon, so i could use it to scream at both patronising, scaremongering officials and media outlets and the idiots that think everyone's going to die unless they start rocking those stupid snout-resembling (how's that for irony) cardboard respirator masks and immersing their whole bodies in rubbing alcohol four times daily.

"Pig" (YSI) by Sparklehorse is the first track of their brilliant second album Good Morning Spider and is pretty uncharacteristically angry-sounding amid their usual, more reflective style. i've always loved the lines "I wanna try and fly / I wanna try and die / I wanna be a pig / I wanna fuck a car". Well, you've gotta keep your dreams, haven't you?

The Streets' "He's Behind You, He's Got Swine Flu" (YSI) is apparently a track that M. Skinner has "unofficially" released recently through his Twitter page. It's one of those songs that makes you want to slap your forehead at the sheer groaning ridiculous topical inevitability of it all, but it wins you over anyway by virtue of its extreme silliness and advice to "decapitate your mate" in the event that he shows any porcine or influenzaic tendencies. As advice goes, it's no more useless than the patronising "Catch It, Bin It, Kill It" campaign.

Cumbia is one of the two main musical and dancing styles considered representative of Colombia, although Cumbia group Agrupacion Cariño actually hail from Mexico, ground zero of the H1N1 horror. Nonetheless, the scary scary pandemic doesn't seem to be worrying them overly: the classy "Swine Flu Cumbia" (YSI) opens with the hilariously straight-faced couplet "Please be careful with that flu / don't you know we're gonna die" before finally invoking Indiana Jones to save us all. Again, probably beats NHS Direct. They haven't got a nuke-proof fridge, have they?

"False media / We don't need it do we?" — Public Enemy, "Don't Believe the Hype" (YSI). Word.


Bobby Radio Magnetic said...

If you’re into The Streets, check him out at The Edge festival in Edinburgh. You can listen to a preview of the artists performing here:



tomasz. said...

Is that even still on, what with his bassist going down with swine flu?? O irony! (And isn't that Morgan Nichols from Senseless Things/M.Organ? hmmm.)

Hey i remember Radiomagnetic, you had a show on Sub City radio the same time we did! Except obviously you guys have a lot more now, ha ha.