Are these two paragraphs more hilarious or heart-breaking?

Discuss.

X Factor winner [Alexandra Burke] is keen to prove she's not one of the "puppets paid for by Simon Cowell" that Lily Allen referenced in her recent blog about illegal file-sharing.


...The new hairdo is part of a record company reimaging of the singer, described in their own PR material as "Alexandra Burke, version 2.0, 2009 remix".

[source]

Weird BBC headlines #2: Facebook is Satan

Screencaps of odd, amusing or plain WTFworthy headlines from the BBC News website or BBC Ticker.

@Lucifer RT @Satan they're on to us http://bit.ly/BYxg3 #hellisotherpeople

New Sugababes: now with 100% less Sugababes!

So Keisha, the last remaining original Sugababe, has been sacked, leaving only Disproportionately Large Head Girl, Anonymous Session Singer #1 and Anonymous Session Singer #2 and effectively rendering them the Frankenstein of girl bands, a reanimated corpse stitched together from leftover body parts.

("They're like Sugababes FC", comments my 30KB co-conspirator J, correctly.)


Maybe, like someone on The Social Network for Short Attention Spans said (sorry, can't remember who), this is as good an opportunity as any for Keisha, Mutya and Siobhan to reform and tour as The Original Sugababes.

(edit > ah, actually, it was Simon Price.)


i can't stomach the thought of putting up Sugababes music on here no matter how relevant, so here's some vaguely thematically-connected material from the Juno soundtrack, Boris with Merzbow and DOOM instead.

mp3: Michael Cera/Ellen Page — "Anyone Else But You"
mp3: Boris with Merzbow — "Farewell"
mp3: DOOM — "That's That"

another new layout

One day, one day, i swear i will design an original look for this place.

Until that day, however, we are rolling with Tekka by Blorgspot users Evhead and Glish. cheers guys!

Weird BBC headlines #1: Gaza

Screencaps of odd, amusing or plain WTFworthy headlines from the BBC News website or BBC Ticker.

The Gaza strip: NOT, apparently, a picnic hotspot

And the prize for fastest-aging meme EVER goes to...

— BANG! ...first joke off the starting line (within about 20 minutes... RIP Pat);
— Kanye West interrupts your website;
— Punctuation FAIL;
— Apology generator;
— Entirely formulaic and lame "Hitler disses Kanye" modified Downfall clip (for the 400th time this year)¹;
— Image macro compendium;
— Piss-weak "topical" cartoon strips each including a semi-relevant and tangential reference to the cartoonist's area of interest (perfect example).
— Post-match meme analysis in The Grauniad (tardy).

How i actually feel about the Kanye incident:

(via Joe King @ Tw*tter)




(came up with this one all on my own.)

And finally: Terry Moran and his ABC compadres should have been fired from a cannon for violating an off-record agreement with an interviewee within minutes of it being made. All the little Che Guevara wannabes on the net going "there's no such thing as off-the-record! If the President said something, he said it! Da Troof™ is all that matters!" miss the point comprehensively and utterly (as usual). There is such a thing if you've just agreed to it as a professional, actually. Google that word, "professionalism". You'll be surprised.

The following is the only piece of music by Kanye i've ever felt the need to listen to (hint: somebody else produced it).

mp3: Kanye West — "Love Lockdown (Bean Butler rubdown)"

¹ Seriously. You don't have to be Alejandro Jodorowsky or anything, but why not at least try subtitle-modding a scene from a different movie even, you lazy, unfunny, desperately unoriginal rehashing tedious internet pricks?

File under "religious vomit".

The Telegraph printed a story the other day that atheists are more successful at online dating than our religious counterparts. Unable to concede absolutely anything that might paint a non-believer in a slightly favourable light,¹ they've subsequently got their Religion Editor, the blessed and benighted George Pitcher (right), to redress the balance by suicide-bombing logic on behalf of insecure deities everywhere.

When i first saw the title ("Atheists are no good in bed") i jokingly thought "perhaps his argument will be based solely on the fact that atheists don't shout out "Oh God!" at the moment of climax". After reading the piece, i am forced to conclude that this would actually have been among his stronger arguments. Instead, he delivers maybe the most specious, disingenuous, flimsy, illogical, non-sequitous blend of ineffectual insults and bollocks i've ever seen condensed into a mere two paragraphs.

i suppose i shouldn't really be surprised that a Christian preacher would have some trouble with logic, but is the Telegraph really that desperate for writers these days? Or is it easier just to troll for clicks than it is to bother getting any proper content?²

They just takes care
Of Number One
An' Number One ain't you
You ain't even Number Two...

mp3: The Persuasions — "The Meek Shall Inherit Nothing"
mp3: Dead Kennedys — "Religious Vomit"

¹ Even though the original piece was hardly serious anyway.
² Judging by that sexy byline photo, i bet George gets his pick of the Christian ladies, latex-faced hottie that he is.