Are these two paragraphs more hilarious or heart-breaking?

Discuss.

X Factor winner [Alexandra Burke] is keen to prove she's not one of the "puppets paid for by Simon Cowell" that Lily Allen referenced in her recent blog about illegal file-sharing.


...The new hairdo is part of a record company reimaging of the singer, described in their own PR material as "Alexandra Burke, version 2.0, 2009 remix".

[source]

New Sugababes: now with 100% less Sugababes!

So Keisha, the last remaining original Sugababe, has been sacked, leaving only Disproportionately Large Head Girl, Anonymous Session Singer #1 and Anonymous Session Singer #2 and effectively rendering them the Frankenstein of girl bands, a reanimated corpse stitched together from leftover body parts.

("They're like Sugababes FC", comments my 30KB co-conspirator J, correctly.)


Maybe, like someone on The Social Network for Short Attention Spans said (sorry, can't remember who), this is as good an opportunity as any for Keisha, Mutya and Siobhan to reform and tour as The Original Sugababes.

(edit > ah, actually, it was Simon Price.)


i can't stomach the thought of putting up Sugababes music on here no matter how relevant, so here's some vaguely thematically-connected material from the Juno soundtrack, Boris with Merzbow and DOOM instead.

mp3: Michael Cera/Ellen Page — "Anyone Else But You"
mp3: Boris with Merzbow — "Farewell"
mp3: DOOM — "That's That"